A few years back, I was working for a trucking company in a small town near where I lived. All types of characters pass through a trucking terminal, it is a real experience. Drivers get lonely while they are out on the road, and they are quick to share their stories with you, if you take the time to listen. I apologize in advance, as this is a sad story, so if you aren't in the mood, now might be a good time to stop reading.
"Dan" stopped by the terminal one day and asked to fill out an application. It wasn't unusual, to have drivers stop in, so we had a large stack of applications waiting by the desk for just such an occasion. I pulled one from the stack and presented it to him. I asked him if he wanted to stay to fill it out or take it with him, and he said he wanted to stay. So I showed him to the drivers break room, and left him to the task. After a while, I got up and started back to check on him. I passed the window, and noticed the strange car in the lot. A young woman sat in the front with 3 or 4 kids in the back. They all were quiet and patient, which was amazing to me, because most kids I know can't sit still in a car if their lives depended upon it.
I went back to check on Dan, he was just finishing up with the application. I took it from him and scanned over it. He listed a local motel as his address. I asked him if he would be around for a while, and he replied that yes, he and his wife had just moved back from the west coast. If memory serves me, he started in northern California and had moved north to Oregon before heading back here. He said that he and his wife had fallen on hard times out west. That to even make a living out there was rough, but once you fell behind, it was next to impossible to catch up. They had sold almost everything they had and were hanging on a thread. As I looked over his application, I could tell he had the proper qualifications, so I asked him to sit tight, and give me a minute to see if the manager was able to talk to him.
My manager and I weren't the best of friends, but he respected my judgement, and when I went to him with the application, and asked him if he would take a minute to talk to this potential driver, he hesitated a minute, but then agreed. I ushered Dan in to speak to the manager, and by the time Dan left his office, he was our newest city driver. Our manager scheduled him for all the proper tests, and had me give him the rest of the paperwork for him to fill out as a new employee. When Dan left our building that day, I saw a truly relaxed and happy man. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted off of his shoulders.
Dan came on board and became one of the guys. He fit in well, and we became fast friends as well. He brought his wife and kids in to meet all of us who worked in the office. Back in the day, we had regular Friday night cookouts at the terminal, and Dan's family always came and brought a dish to pass. It was a great time. I watched Dan become happier and more secure, and was so very glad that I had pushed his application in front of our manager.
About 2 months into his time with us, he and I talked about his son's birthday. His oldest son and my daughter were the same age. He said he so wanted to have a family party for him, but they were still a long way from being back on their feet and were also still living in a motel in one room. Well, that just couldn't happen! I worked with the manager and the other girls in the office, we took up an anonymous collection, and went to work. We went to our local grocery and purchased gift certificates for both a family meal from their deli and a special birthday cake for their party. Then with the remaining money, we bought several presents for the birthday boy, and an additional present for each of his brothers and sisters as well. We presented these to Dan and his wife "Jill", in private, after our next Friday cook out. They were in tears! They said they felt so blessed to have come back to our "family" and would never forget all the kindness showed to them.
Several years went by, Dan and his family got back on their feet, bought a house, settled in and all seemed well. One of the other drivers, "Bill", I had recruited from a local moving company. He and Dan had become best friends. Bill had decided he made more money at the moving company, and was going back to them. He asked Dan to come with him, to team drive moves to Florida. They would be back and forth at least two or three times a month, more when possible. Dan's mom lived in Florida, and it would give him a chance to check in on her more often. So, he jumped at the chance and both of my favorite drivers left to move retiree's to Florida.
All went along well for awhile. Then I heard from some of the other drivers, the Dan's wife Jill was not doing well with the change. His long times away, leaving her to manage four kids by herself was taking a toll. She was also struggling with early onset arthritis. She was depressed and in pain, and alone. Dan tried to come back to our terminal, but the economy had turned and we just didn't have any jobs available. So, he continued to move retirees and tried to be home as much as possible. About a year later, he was home, and woke to find his wife still on the couch from the night before. She never spent the whole night on the couch. He went to her, but it was too late. Jill had died in her sleep. The culprit was believed to be a new arthritis drug she was taking. An autopsy was ordered, but I was never privy to the results. Dan couldn't drive over the road any longer and be there for his kids. He decided to move his children to Florida, where his mom could help him raise them, and he could find another job. My daughter was able to keep in touch with his son for awhile, but eventually they lost touch as well.
I hadn't heard but a few things from friends, in passing. until just recently. I think our lives may be meant to cross one more time. I heard from two different people, that Dan is now struggling with cancer and it does not look good. He is moving back to be near his remaining family, I can only guess that his mom must have by now passed as well. I'm told he may have six months to a year, depending on some new medicine that they want to try. I hope it works for him. I think most of his children have graduated from school by now, except maybe the youngest. She still may have a year or two to go. If I find out he is here, I would like to seek him out, just to talk about good times and let him know he always had friends here who still thought about him often. His wife Jill is buried in the cemetery, just up the road from my house. I have gone there a few times, and will be so sad to see the day when I will visit them both there. Time can be so cruel, trying to understand why some people seem to do all the right things and still can't get to a comfortable and happy place in their lives confounds and depresses me. I know it all happens for reasons we cannot possibly understand, but if I could have one prayer answered, it would be to enlighten us, just enough so that we can find peace. I know we are supposed to find peace in faith, but having blind faith is very difficult. Ah, maybe that is why I'm still here, not enough lessons learned yet. I have much to learn.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The Friendly Deli Guy
So to start, here is a fairly new encounter. I used to work in the downtown area in my home town. Since my town and my state are all but dead in this economy, I didn't have much to choose from to eat during my lunch hours. Across from the building I worked in was a complex that used to be loaded with shops and eateries. Now there are two eateries (one being a Starbucks) and a deli sandwich shop. The owner of said shop also has another shop in an even smaller town 7 miles away. It was that shop that I was most familiar with, as I once worked in that small town as well, and still am there often to visit family.
One day, I had been so bogged down with work, that I didn't even look at the clock until about 1:30 p.m. Realizing that I had missed the closing time of our building cafe, (which didn't break my heart) I had to go out in search of food. This day was pouring down rain, and just not the day to head out on foot. So I thought of the deli across the street. I headed over, my umbrella clutched tightly against the wind and rain. Upon entering the door, I was overwhelmed with the smells of fresh soup and sandwiches! The store was warm and cozy. Spotless, in fact, with sarcastic signs hung around like, "Children who are left will be given sugar and a puppy". I was happy to get out of the rain and into such a cool place.
I walked up to the counter to place an order, trying to scan the huge order board quickly, so I didn't look like the newbie that I was. The clerk at the counter asked me if I had seen the specials sign. I hadn't, and as I looked up to where she pointed, I was elated to see that the special was a pastrami Cuban! For those of you who do not know, there is nothing better in this world, than a Cuban sandwich! My mouth went all watery, and I got a little twinge in my tummy. Now please realize, I live in the North. And I do mean, North. I have been to Florida many times and had really authentic Cuban food, but to get that here in my neck of the woods, what a prize! I didn't even blink when I ordered the special and was waiting with anticipation I hadn't felt in a good while.
While I waited, dripping, in the corner, a pudgy little man was tinkering around with a rag, wiping at non-existent dust. The pull was to hard to resist. Remember, I told you, it's like a magnet, the eyes meet and they have to tell me their stories. I'm not kidding you. "Jay" walked over to me to see how I was doing. He asked me how I liked the weather, (ha ha, no one likes the weather here, ever!) and proceeded to talk about how much he still couldn't get used to it here. Well, of course, that piqued my interest, so I asked him, "How long have you been here?" "Jay" told me he had been "back" about 15 years. He told me that he and his wife had left about 30 years ago and moved to Florida. They lived there about 15 years, started their family, and the realized they had a problem. they felt that the schools there had nothing to offer their kids. He told me they were overcrowded and rough. They had to bring in rows of trailers as temporary classrooms, because they couldn't keep up with the enrollment. He said his kids were suffering and hated it there. This all seemed amazing to me, as I grew up in this cold and snow and the very thought of growing up amongst palm trees and ocean surf sounded like a paradise to me. He told me his wife and he made the hard choice and sold everything to move back to the frigid North. They did not regret their decision. He told me his kids flourished and both were great students. His son had graduated college, and had moved away. His daughter was graduating from college that very next weekend with honors. He was a proud dad, and rightly so. He did what he needed for his kids, and he was successful.
He lamented, that his only problem now was, that his wife and he really wanted to move back to the warm weather that they had left behind so long ago. He said he had done what he needed for his kids, and was ready to sell his businesses but with the economy being what it was, he was lucky he could still keep them open. They are successful, many people crowd in every day to eat at the immaculate little shop. But I so understand, what the heart wants, it wants.
By this time, my sandwich was ready. "Jay" told me he hoped I would enjoy it, he said it was pretty authentic, as he had had more than his share of good Cuban sandwiches during his time in Florida. I told him that I really couldn't wait to try it, and to keep adding it to the menu, and I would definitely be back. As I reluctantly went back out into the blustery rain, I clutched what turned out to be about the best Cuban sandwich that I have had outside of Florida! "Jay" you made me so happy on such a miserable day. Both with the sandwich, and the glimpse of your life and the wonderful dad you have been. I hope the economy turns around soon, and that fate brings you a buyer for your stores, so that you can head back to the beautiful shores of Florida. You have earned a chance to retire and relax! Thank you for sharing with me!
One day, I had been so bogged down with work, that I didn't even look at the clock until about 1:30 p.m. Realizing that I had missed the closing time of our building cafe, (which didn't break my heart) I had to go out in search of food. This day was pouring down rain, and just not the day to head out on foot. So I thought of the deli across the street. I headed over, my umbrella clutched tightly against the wind and rain. Upon entering the door, I was overwhelmed with the smells of fresh soup and sandwiches! The store was warm and cozy. Spotless, in fact, with sarcastic signs hung around like, "Children who are left will be given sugar and a puppy". I was happy to get out of the rain and into such a cool place.
I walked up to the counter to place an order, trying to scan the huge order board quickly, so I didn't look like the newbie that I was. The clerk at the counter asked me if I had seen the specials sign. I hadn't, and as I looked up to where she pointed, I was elated to see that the special was a pastrami Cuban! For those of you who do not know, there is nothing better in this world, than a Cuban sandwich! My mouth went all watery, and I got a little twinge in my tummy. Now please realize, I live in the North. And I do mean, North. I have been to Florida many times and had really authentic Cuban food, but to get that here in my neck of the woods, what a prize! I didn't even blink when I ordered the special and was waiting with anticipation I hadn't felt in a good while.
While I waited, dripping, in the corner, a pudgy little man was tinkering around with a rag, wiping at non-existent dust. The pull was to hard to resist. Remember, I told you, it's like a magnet, the eyes meet and they have to tell me their stories. I'm not kidding you. "Jay" walked over to me to see how I was doing. He asked me how I liked the weather, (ha ha, no one likes the weather here, ever!) and proceeded to talk about how much he still couldn't get used to it here. Well, of course, that piqued my interest, so I asked him, "How long have you been here?" "Jay" told me he had been "back" about 15 years. He told me that he and his wife had left about 30 years ago and moved to Florida. They lived there about 15 years, started their family, and the realized they had a problem. they felt that the schools there had nothing to offer their kids. He told me they were overcrowded and rough. They had to bring in rows of trailers as temporary classrooms, because they couldn't keep up with the enrollment. He said his kids were suffering and hated it there. This all seemed amazing to me, as I grew up in this cold and snow and the very thought of growing up amongst palm trees and ocean surf sounded like a paradise to me. He told me his wife and he made the hard choice and sold everything to move back to the frigid North. They did not regret their decision. He told me his kids flourished and both were great students. His son had graduated college, and had moved away. His daughter was graduating from college that very next weekend with honors. He was a proud dad, and rightly so. He did what he needed for his kids, and he was successful.
He lamented, that his only problem now was, that his wife and he really wanted to move back to the warm weather that they had left behind so long ago. He said he had done what he needed for his kids, and was ready to sell his businesses but with the economy being what it was, he was lucky he could still keep them open. They are successful, many people crowd in every day to eat at the immaculate little shop. But I so understand, what the heart wants, it wants.
By this time, my sandwich was ready. "Jay" told me he hoped I would enjoy it, he said it was pretty authentic, as he had had more than his share of good Cuban sandwiches during his time in Florida. I told him that I really couldn't wait to try it, and to keep adding it to the menu, and I would definitely be back. As I reluctantly went back out into the blustery rain, I clutched what turned out to be about the best Cuban sandwich that I have had outside of Florida! "Jay" you made me so happy on such a miserable day. Both with the sandwich, and the glimpse of your life and the wonderful dad you have been. I hope the economy turns around soon, and that fate brings you a buyer for your stores, so that you can head back to the beautiful shores of Florida. You have earned a chance to retire and relax! Thank you for sharing with me!
Start of a new Era
Hi All! Hopefully there will be a few of you out there to read my blog over time. I'm just a small town girl, living in a lonely world,,, Oh wait, that's not my story! LOL!! Well the truth is, I'm not ready to share my story, maybe some day, but not here and not now.
What I am going to say is that I feel there are many classifications of people in the world that I see. I don't necessarily see colors or genders, short or tall, young or old. Although these things all figure into who we are. I see instigators, players, dumpers, emotional vampires, caretakers, users, liars, saints, rocks of faith and connectors. There are probably a few other categories I can't wrap my mind around right now, but of these, I think I am a connector. Throughout my life, people have stopped me in my day to day to tell me their stories. Seriously, walking down a grocery aisle, standing in line to buy movie tickets, while pumping gas, anywhere I seem to pause, someone has a story to tell me. Sometimes, I can help, I can offer information, give a shoulder to cry on, pass a kind word or tell them about someone they should look up or meet. Other times, I walk away with a great story, but not much help to anyone. I often see some of these people again, but most I do not. These brushes with my fellow population, I believe are moments of Karma. These are my chances to see life from another perspective, or touch another human soul with kindness or just understanding. I feel taxed often after these encounters, but humbled and awed as well. I feel these people were brought to me for something, and I can only hope I gave then something to take away. Or at least they gave me something when I needed it the most.
So the purpose of this blog is to start recording these wonderful soul to soul touches that I share from time to time. Without "real" names and hopefully not identifiable to anyone else, but just to share the business of how we live our lives. Some will be great some will be sad, but all will be real and all have touched my soul, I hope they will touch yours.
What I am going to say is that I feel there are many classifications of people in the world that I see. I don't necessarily see colors or genders, short or tall, young or old. Although these things all figure into who we are. I see instigators, players, dumpers, emotional vampires, caretakers, users, liars, saints, rocks of faith and connectors. There are probably a few other categories I can't wrap my mind around right now, but of these, I think I am a connector. Throughout my life, people have stopped me in my day to day to tell me their stories. Seriously, walking down a grocery aisle, standing in line to buy movie tickets, while pumping gas, anywhere I seem to pause, someone has a story to tell me. Sometimes, I can help, I can offer information, give a shoulder to cry on, pass a kind word or tell them about someone they should look up or meet. Other times, I walk away with a great story, but not much help to anyone. I often see some of these people again, but most I do not. These brushes with my fellow population, I believe are moments of Karma. These are my chances to see life from another perspective, or touch another human soul with kindness or just understanding. I feel taxed often after these encounters, but humbled and awed as well. I feel these people were brought to me for something, and I can only hope I gave then something to take away. Or at least they gave me something when I needed it the most.
So the purpose of this blog is to start recording these wonderful soul to soul touches that I share from time to time. Without "real" names and hopefully not identifiable to anyone else, but just to share the business of how we live our lives. Some will be great some will be sad, but all will be real and all have touched my soul, I hope they will touch yours.
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